Sunday, August 02, 2009

Confusion is the pillar of .....

We must have read and heard so many times "Failures are the pillars of success"...I was just wondering, can we also say "Confusion is the pillar of Clear Thinking". Doesn't sound correct isn't it!

Tonight I feel very Confused, a kind of mixed feelings, may be I am alone and lonely and guess my mind is not working that well...or may be I am missing my beloved wife a may be it's a matter of heart...I am "Confused". My mind is racing in all directions, clueless on what it wants - personally, professionally, spiritually.

Life is all about options and choosing from those options. I am happy that I am confused today. You may think I have gone berserk. But I am happy because I am thinking. In the rush of life we stop reflecting on the events which moulds your personality. We become transactional. I am happy I am confused as I am thinking.

I am confused if I am doing enough for my loved ones. Sometimes we have arguments and we say things which we later regret saying. I want to be at my best - supporting, caring and loving, but am I doing enough, I am confused.

I am confused if I am doing enough for my spiritual and physical well being. I do go for jogging, do meditate sometimes, try eating healthy food. I pray to god for strength and well being. I want to feel the best - but am I doing enough, I am confused.

I am confused if I am doing enough to prepare for any eventuality. I do financial planning to support my family. I am a learner and keep reading to make myself ready for future career opportunities. But am I ready for the next big thing in my life. I am confused.

I think it's a good sign when you go through such state. It is not the first time when I am going through this. But each time I went through such state, my mind and heart was clear when it was over. So may be I can say "Confusion is the pillar of Clear Thinking", atleast for me.


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Can I reverse things in time...

It's almost mid-night and the melodious songs of Jagjit Singh in the background seems so soothing. My room is dark with dim light coming from the street. As I close my eyes, it feels so emotional, the lyrics combined with the depth in his voice..."Tum chale jaoge toh sochenge..humne kya khoya humne kya paya...". Life is like that, you cannot go back in time and change things "Hum jise gun guna nahi sakte...waqt ne aisa geet kyu gaya" true..

We are born pure, no fear, no biases, and above all no selfish thoughts. As we grow we become competitive, join the race to achieve the so called "success". Life becomes a project, one ends another begins. School, college, corporate ...are the different life projects and "success" in each one of them becomes our central goal. But before you read more of this, can I request you to take a pause in your race to "success" and THINK..."humne kya khoya humne kya paya"

Every morning I get up and get started on the daily chores, getting ready for office, run to catch the bus to office, meetings after meetings, the pressure to perform, the relentless effort to get a great rating in the year end performance appraisal continues. Time passes by and we lose day after day of our precious life. At some point we lose it and we try to change the job, fed up with work, with people around you, the environment sucks. But do you THINK ... "humne kya khoya humne kya paya"

Do you ever say to some one close to you a gentle Thank You! for being part of your life...Do you ever stop by for 5 mins, close your eyes and think on who is making a difference to your life in their own small ways....Every time you buzz your friend on the messenger the first question that you shoot is "Where are you, what are you doing these days", but do you ever ask "Are you happy? Can I be of any help to you?"...You always pray to god asking for new things in your life...Do you ever thank him for keeping you healthy...I don't want to go on and on ... but the answer to most of these questions I suspect would be NO...

My grandfather died of cancer, his last few days were so painful. He was in the cancer hospital for the last 7 days having lost the sense to recognize me and others. I knew he won't be with me anymore. From my childhood for many many years he used to take me to school on his cycle, loved me, cared for me, withstood my tantrums, listened to my silly talks.....and I was not around when he took his last breath. I will never see him again I know but if I could hold his hand again when he was leaving us....

"Humne kya khoya humne kya paya"...everyone has his own story to our conscience we know that we have lost many things just because we are so damn busy...the only point is...don't lose it as you move ahead...value those people more than your quest to "success" or else at some point in life you will say "Hum jise gun guna nahi sakte...waqt ne aisa geet kyu gaya"...

Good Night!

Saturday, October 27, 2007


I was reading through the book "The Greatness Guide" by Robin Sharma. Nice book. Quite inspiring too. Yet onething he never mentioned was about managing expectations.

It's difficult to be happy till you set the right expectations for yourself and for others. What others expect from you is important to know or else you can't keep them happy. Each time you fail to meet them, it hurts them.

But I have a fundamental doubt. Should I expect anything from anybody. I am human like all others and do have expectations from others or atleast from whom I love the most. But sometimes the way they behave it hurts. All the expectations gets shattered. Is it a failure from their end to manage my expectations or is it my failure to expect the wrong thing from them?

I don't know what is the answer to that. Yet now I feel that you can be happy only by not expecting anything from anybody. There are no exceptions to these - your parents, your spouse or your friends.

I might be sounding negative yet this is so true. Feel it when you are let down by someone whom you love a lot. And you will come and tell me...Rahul what you said was so right.

Yet we all are human and we start expecting again....we stumble we fall and we get up....the cycle continues.

-- Rahul

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Pal Katena

Yaad mein teri doob gaya hoon subah kaho ya shaam
Yaad jo teri aaye mujhe ab bhool gaya sab kaam
Yaad mein tere jaane kitne kaat chuka main jaam
Yeh pal katena....Pal katena raam
Yeh pal katena....Pal katena raam

Pehli nazar jab.. dekhenge hum unko
Unke haseen chehre ko dil mein basa lenge
Unki woh yaado ko yaar hum tanha
Mun ki un aankho se fir se dohra lenge

Aankho pe unke vaar du main ab yeh sara sansar
Mujhe sikhaya usne har pal hota hai kya pyar
Maan gaye toh pyar mein jeevan kat jayega yaar
Yeh pal katena....Pal katena yaar
Yeh pal katena....Pal katena yaar

Teri hasi aur teri.. woh bachkaaniya
Ruthna tera aur fir pyar se mana lena
Teri woh baatein aur.. teri woh shararte
Neend udaati meri teri saari aadatein

Khule aankho mein kat jaata hai saari saari raat
Har pal ab toh yaad aati hai teri pyari baat
Thaan liya ab pakdenge mehndi wali woh haath
Yeh pal katena....Pal katena yaar
Yeh pal katena....Pal katena yaar

Yeh pal katena....Pal katena raam
Yeh pal katena....Pal katena raam

-- Rahul

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Counseling the Self

We play so many different roles in life when it comes to relationships. A friend, a brother, a sister, a father, a mother, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a husband and many more can be listed down. Each has its own significance and in each role we play a character with different nuances of sensibility, maturity and openness. But a role which we often play that has a combination of all these roles is that of a counselor. When a distressed soul comes to you for advice, we try to put down all these roles into one and derive our own commonality and try to help that individual with our advice.

We always put our personal biases into them and see the individual’s problem from our frame of mind. It becomes very difficult to make the person understand our point of view as they are not ready to let go their contentions even though they come to us for advice.

The point to note here is that it’s easy to advice but not to convince. The person who is in the line of fire is disturbed. The only help one can provide is to give a logical explanation with a fair degree of compassion and help him to settle down first. Once he takes thing a bit easy then help him to achieve some objectivity and a course of action to avoid such issues in future. However, the bottom-line remains that one has to do it themselves or so to say counsel oneself to get things going. Talking to friends definitely helps and provides a bit of relief yet one has to fight their own way out.

I can bet that you too must have been hurt in the past which could have been due to numerous reasons. It could have been due to a rebuking boss/professor, unfair treatment at work, misunderstanding with parent or friends, people making judgmental comments about you etc. The reasons could have been many more yet someway or the other such thing hurts.

Just to avoid the feeling of being hurt we make common statements like “I don’t care about what the world has to say”, “I don’t really give a damn” or “Only people who matter to me shall hurt me and the rest don’t matter”. Well, we agree or not yet to a certain degree all of us are moved when we come across such instances. It goes without saying that some of us are more vulnerable to such things.

It’s only through experience of such events that one learn to handle them. Infact it’s a good thing that sometimes such things happen to us. Such incidents help us identify our true friends especially those who help us during our bad time. The bad thing is that such incidents can cost you loss of trust and faith which are really valuable things to lose forever. Yet in retrospect you will feel that you have grown as a person with lots of understanding about life and the real world.

When one has gone through several such experiences then gradually you get immune to such things. You develop an attitude to move ahead in life regardless to who says what about you. One has to have a focus in life in order to achieve the same. It’s very difficult not to get distracted by others if one doesn’t have a focus.

I have always valued two kinds of people. One who like me a lot and the other who dislike me a lot. Both add a lot of value to me.

The ones who like me strongly also understand me to the core and know the reason for my actions. They understand me to such an extent that the source of confusion is rare and even if there is one it doesn’t last for long. Well, the number of such people is less and rightly so as I don’t expect all to understand me neither I would like to understand all.

The ones who dislike me strongly also understand me to the core yet they put their own connotation to my actions which is in direct contrast to what I meant. I never try to change their opinion about me as their inputs keep me driving. Somebody said “Your success does not depend on how much you are loved but how much you are hated”.

The message I am trying to put across is “Life is not all about love or being loved”. Love is meant only for a few special people. Don’t expect that all will care for you or even be good to you. So why get distressed by who says what about you. Even people you love sometimes hurt you yet if you have a strong bonding it will be fine again.

Life is beautiful provided you make it one. Live with your head held high and always be at your best. Learn to laugh and bring smiles to others.

When there is so much to learn, do and savor who the hell has time for a few morons who have nothing but to make others life miserable. So chillax and enjoy the fun !!!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Change the World

I look outside and I see
Misery & disparity all around
No food no shelter
Homeless people sleeping on the hard ground
Weeping children fatigued with hunger
We see them everyday but still stay in emotional slumber

Death & sickness has spread their cold wings
Poverty is abudant & has hit with its stings
Rich getting richer & poor getting poorer
The world is divided & becoming bipolar
One day will come when it will all collapse
And we all know who will be responsible for that lapse

So wake up today & make a small difference
Change this world to a temple from a place of irreverence
Oh God! Give me the courage to do this
To change this world to a place with only happiness & bliss
To a place with only happiness & bliss

- Rahul

Friday, January 26, 2007

Feelings..Some random thoughts

Let me take you through a beautiful experience which can touch hearts..the experience called Love..

Love happens to all sometime in life when we expect the least that such thing can happen to us..and the amazing fact is that we feel it, we experience it still we don't know how to define it..It just happens !

It's a beautiful feeling to be in that state..lost we feel..just one thought that occupies our mind..just one face that's in front of our eyes..just one person becomes the centre of our world..A gaze into her eyes gets you another life..

It's a world of dreams where we imagine oneself and that person and time just flows motivates you to do things..her happiness is your only make sometimes live a life which is not your change for her..and you don't love the change she brings in are ready to leave even the most precious things for her or change your habits..well thats when you should understand you are in love..

Ins't it a beautiful experience..Yes it is and specially those who have been into it wil agree..the thought of her is just good enough to bring a smile to start finding romance even in the most mundane activities..

Sometimes you feel alone without her..yet the distance increases the bonding as it helps you realize how important she is for you..You eagerly wait for her "missed" calls and you smile when you see her well written sms. When she calls up you talk the most rubbish things as you don't know what to speak on....yet those small things bring you by day..When she hangs up the phone her voice reverberates in your mind..her image occupies your memories..and you say "Shit Why did I say this to her !!" and then you send an sms to say sorry for no cause at all..Her reply makes you happy and when there is no remain anxious the whole night thinking of what to do next...Well yes this is what feelings are all about...It makes you makes you sad...but the involvement and the worries is what keeps you "engaged"..

Well loves is lot more than all this..distance is live in each others is what defines love..Well to be honest I myself can't define it as it's so difficult to crystalize love in words and present in black and white..

Well, ofcourse this post has to be written for someone special and I hope she reads it one day !

-- Rahul