Confusion prevails......Now time to get out of it

Life is so confusing sometimes. People take you wrong even when you are trying to say the right things. It happens right...with you with me with everybody. At that point of time we get so bogged down that the first priority becomes how to bring the situation under control. And when the situation is under control we forget about the problem. It is lost in obscurity.

Do we ever analyze why things go wrong. Why we were so confused about our speech or action at that point of time. Do we learn the lessons from them? Most of us will not do that. Some thoughtful minds will do take time out to analyze.

Well if you try to analyze you will find there are a few broad categories of reasons:

1. When arguments are such that conflicts with our convictions
2. When something hurts our ego and you don't accept facts as they are
3. When past experience prevents you to be what you are
4. When you think that you cannot be wrong and don't accept every coin has two sides
5. When you find somebody is better than you but cannot accept the fact
6. When you are emotionally too much disturbed to take things rationally

These are few there can be many more reasons. However I feel it's the combination of all this. Some of them affect us more due to various reasons. For some it's there ego which drives them for some it's there past experience and for some it's there convictions.

You are always right when you think your way but what you should understand that the other person has their own view point. They would be thinking the way you are thinking. They may give reasons to prove that their view point is also correct. Subjects can be debated and nothing can be absolutely right or absolutely wrong.

One should have the heart to accept others view points. This is applicable to all relationships - husband wife/friend friend/girlfriend boyfriend/brother sister/mother daughter to count a few.

So what is the solution for such arguments? I feel there is only one. First of all if one person is shouting you should not be doing the same. Relax and try to listen with an open mind with no biases and prejudice. Try to understand the point. Don't pass judgments rather provide proper comments substantiated by facts if possible. Give the other person time to calm down and think on it. Let her/him come back to you and then solve the problem in a matured and peaceful way.

Things won’t go wrong till we make it go wrong. I have had personal experience and may be my talks are influenced by it. However what I feel one should always speak out is their thoughts. Nothing is absolutely wrong or absolutely right. It's the way you look into it.

So trigger your thought process. Keep your thinking mind busy with thoughts and grow each day!!!!

One last thing before you close this window - I am not trying to be dogmatic..these are my personal thoughts.

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Unpredictability

Life sometime seems so weird. Things happen to you...You have no control over it. Why it has happened..there is no answer. Whether it was your mistake .. you never know. Could that thing had been averted.. god knows!!

But life is weird sometimes....

Every new person you meet in life is a new experience. So many things to learn from them. They can be like you or can be your contrast. They make so much impact on your life. But one day they leave you...when you need them the most...Why they left you..you never know...

Life is so weird.....

You try to find somebody who will always be there for you in need. You call them friends. But can friendship be achieved or it happens. I guess it happens!! Weird again!!! You try to be friend to somebody and it never happens .. and somebody become your friend and you never come to know when did it happen....

Life is so weird......

Good Bad Ugly is a part of life....they come when you never expect them. Can you dictate them...No you can't....coz it is Unpredictable...

Life is so unpredictable....

I hope I could have controlled a piece of my life...I could have made friends I wanted to...I could have studied in the place I wanted to...I could have worked in the place I wanted to....I could have provided happiness to all which I wanted....But I never did...things came to me and I have to accept them....all... the Good Bad Ugly...

God can you give one day to me...when I can make things predictable and I can do what I always wanted...

God can you?

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Just another day....Yet so Special !!!

Well, this is the first time I am writing something when I am not really down. Yt'day was one of those days which really brings my family and friends closer to me. Yeah I scored one more year in life...it was one of my most memorable birthdays....due to several reasons...


Before I write a short account (specially for my friends outside XLRI) of the day's events I would really express my gratitutde to all my near ones, friends, batchmates, juniors & seniors who remembered me on that day. It means a lot to me....no words to express....

The day before I had a nightout due to "MACR" workshop ("If you are thinking what is MACR...it's just another jargon in a mba's diary"). A confessoin to be made - I removed my birthday from Orkut a few days back so that it doesn't get noticed by my friends out here in XLRI...reason ?? soon you will understand...

I disappeared from my room so that I wasn't traceable ....yet was spotted...and at 11:59 PM somebody knocks the door.."Aaajaa Beta Bahar aajaa...ab chup ke fayda nahi hai"... It was time to shower some love on me by my friends out here....Well it's a special form of love and you need to experience it before you can comment on it....lol...

Birthday bumps are always interesting provided you are not on the receiving side ;-)....After being showered with love I was taken near the cafeteria where a few eggs were nicely cracked on my head....and then the Inaugural Ceremony.... thinking what is that ?

Well thats the new fountain constructed near our hostel entrance. But the inauguration was a little different...I was put into the water filled fountain...may be to take off the effect of the smelly egg :-D

Well then yes the best part...The Cake....A really great cake...and that gave me a thought that it's just for eating...how can I make such simplistic assumptions...Yeah it was wrong....The cream finally ended on my face...well after all the cake was meant for me !!!

The birthday bash/wash ended and I was back to the Workshop work...

Well another round of celebrations followed in the night when there was another round of cake cutting ceremony with close friends...and it was really so nice to see have them.....and again some nicely cooked "soups and corns"....

Well it was one of my most memorable days...it means a lot to me....and these memories will be with me forever....These memories are the ones which we live on when we have gone far apart in life....Those moments are really so special and those who make them so special, always remain close to your heart.....Just a thought borrowed from a friend.............

"Memories play a very confusing role...they make you laugh when u remember the time u cried together! but make u cry when u remember the time u laughed together"

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If life would have been a little fairer....

The first time I left home there was fear of the unknown...I was dreaded of how am I going to adjust to the new place...the people...the work...a sinking feeling ran through my spine...the comfort provided by our loved ones and aegis of the elder will not be anymore...

Yet when we move to new places we meet new people...we have both good and bad experiences....but you are never alone...there will be a few friends whose company we cherish forever...a sense of unification...a sense of togetherness breeds and we get along...

If life would have been a little fairer....we have to move again..it never takes our consent...fate moves us apart...we suffer social dislocation...and it's not easy to adjust oneself again and again...

I still miss my friends with whom I studied ...with whom I worked...and with whom I met at other places...it's so difficult when it's time to move again...

Days in XLRI are numbered...can be counted on the finger tips...

I will always feel nostalgic about this place....which was evident from the fact that I really missed it when I went for 2 months of Summer Project in Mumbai....

Most of the people out here are really so good....and there are people to whom I feel attached...I will miss them so much....

Yet I have to move on....

When I came to this place I thought I won't get attached...coz it's really painful to move apart....I kept explaining myself...no I won't....Yet I failed...failed miserably yet again....

"Is there a final destination.....Sometime I contradict myself when I ask such questions....I am human too and I fail...."

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An endless wait.....

Life is short...short indeed. Seen many people who have said good-bye to the world and left us all alone. The sense of loss can never be filled as there is no substitute to a living human being...

It striked my mind a little while ago...and a sense of loss crept in my conscience.

We classify people as someone whom we love and someone who do not matter to us. The people we love are really important to us and it's them who affect us the most. All their words matters the most.

They can make us laugh and even a little harsh behaviour from them hurts us badly. We get hurt so easily and we don't talk to them. We keep on thinking why did they ever said that to me....How can they say such things to me when I love them so much....we keep ourselves away from them....

But the irony is - life is too short...tomorrow you might not see them again....the time you wanted to recover can turn out to be the longest span of your life if the person don't exist anymore.....

Your waiting period can become endless......

So just think once before you stop talking to your dear ones....You might never get a chance to say sorry....

Life might not give you a second opportunity....

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Expectations..Pillars of failure

Expectations are something which cannot be avoided. As human, invariably we cannot restrict ourselves from expecting something from others. We can try not to but we fail to do so. Some expectations become so implicit that we don't even think on it.

Expectation of love from your near ones, expectation of respect from youngers, expectation of appreciation for work well done and so on and so forth. The list is endless....

The issue to think about is whether such expectations are right or wrong. In the slokas of Bhagwat Gita, Lord Krishna said "Karm karo par fal ki iccha mat karo" - do your karma but "don't expect" anything. Well this is a tough proposition.

As human we fail to do so most of the time. I too have failed. I have failed coz I expected goodness for being good...I have failed coz I expected simplicity for being simple....I expected being understood for being understanding....

I have failed badly coz I am also human and not god. Expectations are broken. I wont be bad not coz I didn't get something good...yet I wont be the same either.....life teaches all and the learning curve makes you what you are...

May be what I need is to understand that the Gita slokas is the ultimate truth....the truth that cannot be negated...may be there lies the seed of happiness....

Life goes on and as I said before you have to move on....it's time to move on again....

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Missing the understanding mind...

Life without true friends is really so empty....they are the guys who really understand you. It's really tough to find people who can actually do that.

You can be an achiever or just mediocre but what is important is one should have a thinking mind. The thought process and ability to think through difficult situations is what really matters. When you cannot do that you fall back on your true friends who help you get that clarity. This happens only coz they understand you that well.

To some people the world matters and to the world some people matter. In either case they are not a substitute of your true friend. They may be far away from you yet each word you say they understand more than the collective mind of the world at large.

Life in XLRI is sometimes too involved. Too much of work and no time for oneself. This I think is a bliss coz you never get time to think anything beyond your assignments and you keep yourself busy. Yet there are those silent moments......

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The Other Perspective

"Hey let me tell you, I have concluded this after thinking a lot and I count on my experience....I am damn sure that I am correct. Please c'mon how can you be so kiddish and say this....Do as you want to....I am going to do what I think is right....."

How many times have you made such statements....ok count and tell me....well let me tell you....you can't count...its innumerable...

Just pause for a while and think...do you have the listening abilities and do you really respect the alternative perspective....

As we grow most of us develop a managerial frame of mind. We keep on referring to our past experience. Though it is perfectly fine what really disappears is the ability to appreciate what others say.

Drawing a parallel to personal life... such an attitude can really prove fatal. Most of the time we end up arguing rather than a healthy discussion. Closing yourself to ideas and thoughts put forth by others really restricts your own thought process...

Arguments are good till they lead to something constructive. However, most of time we take things personally as if our thoughts and ideas weren't appreciated. But did we appreciate others perspective....:-)

Life is not about proving oneself right..coz you will always be wrong for some people and right for others...I have always felt collaborative effort is much better...yet such outcome can come only when both the person speaking do appreciate the same...

"Give a chance to others...you never know what you can lose in your pursuit to prove yourself right"

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